Monday, September 7, 2009

Chinese 103: What I Learned

Well I guess it’s safe to say that I am not mature. I didn't actively do anything this week to accomplish what the cookie suggested but I did think about it quite a bit. I hate that I cannot fix it, that I cannot make it better that he won't allow me a second chance. I love him so much it aches to think that we are not together, ahhhh why can't he allow me to fix my mistake? If mistakes are imperfections then why aren't they accepted as such? Why can't I apologize and start over just as I would if I were late for work or did poorly on a test? Is that what being mature is all about?- accepting the fact that there are things in life that we can't change-because in that case not only am I incredibly immature but I rather not be mature at all. I want to make this better, I want to make it work...only that doesn't really matter does it, if I am the only one? Confucius says,   "Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes." And I think he's right, I've put myself in my own emotional prison filled with guilt and despair and I am so afraid that someone else holds the key.

No comments:

Post a Comment