Chinese 102: What I learned

This first week was not as successful as I had hoped- at least not with my fortune cookie project. I had decided that in order to fulfill this week's assignment I would try to reconnect with a friend who I had been estranged from for many years. This friend had reached out to me a number of times in the past few months but I was still too distrustful of him to respond to any of his messages. However, with this assignment in mind, I decided try and reconnect with him this week. If, I decided, that I hoped that my ex would forgive my faults and let us try again, then I too needed to forgive those who had wronged me in the past and give them a second chance. Unfortunately though to be quite honest, I did not make the full effort I should have and failed to see him. We did, however, speak and all in all I believe the situation has improved, and I will continue to make efforts to see him in the future.
In the meantime, I am starting to feel better. Today is my second day in a row that I haven't cried and I am starting to look forward. I still miss my ex everyday and hope that each time the phone rings it is him but I am trying to keep busy and distracted; applying for jobs, searching for an apartment, and seeing friends and family. Maybe I haven't fully healed yet and maybe I didn't complete my assignment as I had desired to but what I am learning more than anything is that life takes time and patience is a difficult but important lesson. In the words of the Confucius, "It does not matter has slowly you go as long as you do not stop".

Chinese 102: Your Meaning of Love is Special. Why Not Share it.

Today I opened my first fortune cookie. It read, Your meaning of love is special. Why not share it. How ironic is that? I think my ex-boyfriend would argue that by "special" the fortune cookie masters meant terrible or very badly displayed.
I am not sure how to approach this one but they say the first step is always the hardest, so here goes nothing. I will post later this week how I tried to share my love.

Chinese 101: How I got here

Backdrop:

I don't know how this happened...or maybe I do, but in either case it is not without tremendous joy and suffering that I have reached the point in life where I now find myself. I recently graduated from the University of Kansas and moved to Los Angeles to join my boyfriend who was pursuing his dream in the world of car magazines. I was so so proud of him and so deeply in love that although I had no job and no friends I happily moved to join him. Unfortunately, what I feared the most happened; I didn't find a job. Becoming lonely and depressed I took my disappointment out on him and after five weeks of enduring my terrible behavior he left me. Distraught and devastated I moved back home to New Mexico. It has been weeks now since our breakup but it has been hard to find any relief. I am filled with tremendous guilt and anguish but somewhere deep inside is the echoing of my mother's voice to push me to start again. This is my attempt.



The Attempt:
There is something about Chinese food. Have you ever notice that Chinese food appears in almost every capacity necessary? We eat Chinese in celebration, sorrow, rainy days in and of course for some of us on Christmas. Considering all of the circumstances, there must be something to it, right? Well, I hope there is something in it for me because this is my attempt at my new beginning. Every week I will open a fortune cookie and try to live as it suggests I should. Learn Chinese, learn life...wish me luck!